DXStorm.com, Adam & Eve

This commercial for an e-commerce company that makes online shopping cart software, is built on homophobic hysteria and ranks with the worst of the Commercial Closet's collection. Its homophobia includes gay groping, followed by gay rape.

With over-the-top acting, an obnoxious office executive sits at his desk while two creative-type underlings peek into his office through interior window miniblinds. "He's at it again," one of them says with gravity.

The executive now appears to have Adam & Eve in his office, as he chomps an apple.

"He's gotta decide, but he just doesn't have a clue!" exclaims the creative guy hysterically. (The other, with headphones on, never speaks.) "You should have seen him," he recounts, "trying to reconstruct a memory database from a non-memory based portable form." (How this jargon is meaningful to the average TV viewer is unclear) Answering himself, he adds, "Duh!"

Shots of the two creative types playing ping-pong are interspersed with a closeup of the executive face-to-face with the crotches of "Adam" and "Eve" -- he frowns.

"He doesn't know anonymous subroutines from supply straights," the creative guy's jargon rambles on, as they now lay on the ping-pong table. "Perl from Visual Basic!" he adds, now in a bathroom stall. Finally, the telltale line comes, "He don't know Adam from Eve."

The executive now grabs the man's crotch (with an odd crunch sound) as his face falls in revulsion. To further emphasize the point, he pivots and looks at his hand with another horrified face. "Adam" now smiles and approaches the executive from behind, grabbing his shoulders, as "Eve" puts a puzzled hand on her chin.

The text super then says, "Check out our package!"

The executives office door opens and he leans out, with his shirt gone but his tie still on, as shouts to the creative guy, "Murphy! I think I'm going to need a little backup on this one, help!" Adam then pulls him away forcefully, by the neck.

The two men ignore his call, and then in the background a rocking sound is heard, with an occasional muffled "help" cry. In disgust, Murphy says, "Oh man, that's not natural! Somebody's got to put that in their mouth!"